Listener Hate Mail

Butternut Deluxe Hate Mail Re: Hate on Significant Others, Episode 61 Interstellarly Yours & Others From: S.

Hello Butternuts, On and off listener since Themba recruited me this past Fall/first time hate-mail. I don’t listen to the episodes in order, and haven’t heard all of them but have listened to most of them. All in all, a fan of the show. For the most part, I enjoy the podcasts. I’m an only girl with 4 brothers, so I’m so used to guys talking. You guys crack me up and its fun knowing way too much about Tony and Nick sucking nasty, busted toes and liking ladyboys.

Recently, however, you guys got under my skin. It began with the episode featuring your first time female guest- which I’ll get to- and continued with a comment on another episode I don’t remember which, but by the time I heard the Significant Others segment of Interstellarly Yours, I was angry and decided it was time to write in.

In Interstellerly Yours, while discussing the old dumbass who got arrested just to get away from his wife, you guys came out your face to say that women didn’t deserve anything. It’s bothersome that men my age feel that way, and that you’d promote that to your younger listeners, both male and female. And while I will credit you for saying that whatever it is that females want they can get on their own because we’re strong and independent, the case of feminism isn’t the one I’m making here. I’m calling your manhood into question here. That’s right, I said it. There were two examples given, so I’ll counter those two. The first was that women shouldn’t expect to be walked home. I can’t believe you wouldn’t want to walk your girl home after spending time with her! Really? Would it really cost you so much effort to walk your girl home? Where is your sense of manly protectionism? Yeah, I can get my ass home on my own. But it’s a wonderful feeling knowing that I have a man by my side who wants to make sure he gets me home safely. Not only is it protecting your girl, but its romantic and makes us want to give you more of what you want.

In another episode (I forgot which), one of you got into an idiotic argument with your girl cause you wouldn’t pick her up and drive her to the movies you were both going to see. Unbelievable! It’s unbelievable that you didn’t want to, and its unbelievable that the energy you could have spent on picking her up for your date was spent instead on arguing. Of course we can all do things on our own. As adults living on our own, we have to. But by the time we find a significant other we want to spend some real time with, we want to spoil the other with what we have to offer. You guys can handle sex on your own- sure. But its much sweeter and warmer when you get to have it with your girl- right? What good is having a boyfriend if she can’t depend on the special protection she gets from having one? Or being picked up and driven to a movie? Take note that this isn’t about expectations, like expecting her to clean and cook or expecting him to be able to change a tire or change the lightbulbs. This is about a give and take relationship and wanting to make your significant other feel a special kind of way.

Finally, I want to address the topic you guys brought up with your first female guest- Who should pay on the first date? Lady Feminism over there squawked that women should pay for their portion of dinner on a first date and that she’s confused as to why women shout for equality but expect dinners to be paid for us, calling our feminism into question. She also went on to say she hesitated to let a man pay for her because she didn’t want to owe him anything afterwards. I don’t know who the female guest is, never heard of her, so I don’t know her age. She may be too young to realize that feminism is the right to make our own decisions, and importantly- to not be degraded for those decisions we make. Its the right to a choice- in case she missed that part. Let me preface by saying that I have no problem with treating my man to drinks, or dessert, a movie, or surprising him with a show. If he’s my man, we’re partners. There is a difference. When being courted, I choose to allow men to pay for my dinners on a first date because I’ve already put in so much time and effort- and money to show up looking hot. I’ll make sure to have an outfit on that lets him imagine what he can have, hair, makeup and a manicure to show off the polished packaged. (Don’t.. don’t even start with the.. “but women don’t have to do that..” You right, we don’t.. but you like it when we do.) And I have never been worried about feeling obligated after a dinner date, whether there is chemistry or not- because I am secure in who I am and what I want. And if a woman don’t want your stank, corny ass after a date- you can be sure she’s going to let you go home alone even if you paid for dinner. And if its the case that there is chemistry between you both, you’ll be more than happy to pay for dinner just to make sure you can see her again. Its not about women wanting equal rights so they should pay for their own meal. No. Its about courting a woman. These are two different matters now. And if we are going to get into equality on a date- tally how much a woman pays for an outfit (include shoes), hair and nails, the time and effort it takes to put it all together and men still come up short. You’d own me another $75 after dinner is done, but I’ll let you buy me dinner on the second date too, so we good. I rest my case.